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Unwanted Customers

I hate CIS majors.

 

Computer Information Systems. It's not quite a computer science degree, it's not hardcore programming or computer techs. It's more of a major that concerns itself with learning things like networking in windows, microsoft office applications, visual basic programming, and even a bit of SQL training. It's basically like receiving a degree with the windows logo stamped on it. Mostly, these majors go and become system admins for banks.

 

The reason these majors become such a pain in my computer technician ass is the way they interact with tech support. Putting aside the irony that comes with the fact that out of all the majors I help, I help CIS majors (people who want to make a living by working with computers) the most, they almost all have the same characteristics that makes me groan and want to leave for lunch when one walks in.

 

First issue: They announce themselves. They walk in, and the first words out of their mouth is “I'm a CIS major” No other major does that. I can't think of a single time where someone has walked in and said “I'm a business management/accounting/marketing/forestry/basket weaving major.” It only seems to happen with CIS majors. It doesn't matter if it's in person, on the phone or through and email; it's the first bit of information that they give to me.

 

Second Issue: They refuse to believe that the problems they are having is user error. It isn't user error all the time, sometimes it is legitimately a problem that is beyond their control. However, most of the time, it's something that they aren't doing or they're forgetting. This happens with most people who have problems with their computers, but they're usually willing to accept the fact that they fucked up, and sometimes they will even suggest it.

 

CIS majors will have a problem with accessing an online application, for example. You could flat out tell them that the issue is with their personal computer, or even something like them not clicking on a link, and they will become obstinate and continue insisting that the problem lies with the servers/web developer/ the internet in general.

 

Third: They technical term spam me

 

CIS majors like to technical term spam me. What this means is that they like to try to cram as many computer related technical terms that they can in one sentence. They even go so far as to say words that acronyms represent, like saying Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol instead of DHCP. They also like to say the whole domain name for a website. Normal people will say “google.” However, CIS majors will say “http colon forward slash forward slash www google dot com” repeatedly. Every time they refer to a website. These make talking to them difficult, tedious and annoying.

 

They take it a step further. They will start saying terms that don't make any sense, especially in combinations. It's not uncommon to hear them say “I am unable to map the website and access the boot command for the excel application on the secure terminal” or something like “The hypertext markup language is preventing me from booting my SQL commands into the bios.” It doesn't help that after they say junk like that I get a confused look on my face that makes them think that I don't know what they're doing. After I try to clarify what the hell they're talking about by either asking a question or repeating what they say, they think I'm a moron and I don't know what I'm doing. This causes them to keep repeating the nonsense that doesn't make sense at all, slowly in a condescending manner, using phrases like “Look, you're not listening to me” or “Do you know what you're doing?” or my favorite: “Listen Missy.” I then have to ask stupid questions to figure out what they're trying to do and where they're having their problems. It almost always ends up being something small and stupid.

 

Fourth: They don't read directions. I don't know why. They only work with the knowledge they already have and refuse to research. We have a website with detailed instructions (with screen shots) on how to do very common, very simple things. We even have detailed instructions, very easy to comprehend, for solutions to common problems. CIS majors often get a huge dumbfounded look when I pull up a web page that has “How to map a network drive” in front of them, with screen shots and simple language. They will sometimes say “And when this doesn't work, then what do you expect me to do?” of which I usually have to convince them to try it. Ridiculous.

 

Not all CIS majors are like that, I'm sure a majority aren't. I certainly don't hate all CIS majors: one of my best friends is a CIS majors. However, in a general sense, if I never had to hear the words “Excuse me, I'm a CIS major” I'd be a happy technician.

 

 

 

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